THE PRICELESS SECRET OF FORGIVENESS
Allen O’Neal
July 1986
"Forgive and forget." We hear these words a lot, and we all have promised many times to do just that. But the fact is that both forgiving and forgetting come hard for us. Have you ever tried to forgive, only to have those feelings of resentment and hostility return over and over again?
One time the apostle Peter asked Jesus about this problem. He wanted to know how many times he should forgive someone who sinned against him. Some theologians in Peter's day said three times should be enough. Peter suggested seven times. But Jesus said, "No, Peter, not seven times, seventy times seven!" That's a lot of forgiving!
Jesus went on to tell a story, a strange story. But when we understand what He was saying, we'll understand the secret of forgiving and forgetting. The parable Jesus told is found in Matt. 18:23-35. It concerns a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. He found a servant who owed him many talents, a large amount of money. The man was not able to pay so he ordered all that the man had be sold to pay the debt. The servant fell on his knees and begged for time to pay. The master had pity on him and canceled the debt.
The servant went out and found a fellow servant who owed him a smaller amount and when the fellow servant begged for time to pay, he had him thrown in jail. When the master heard of this, in anger he turned his servant over to the jailers until he could pay. Jesus said, "So also my heavenly Father will do to everyone of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart."
Most of us may not have someone who owes us a large debt and won't pay. But we all have been wronged at some time or another. Someone, no doubt, has hurt us deeply, an unfaithful spouse, an abusive parent, a disloyal friend or business associate. It's hard to forget those hurts. They aren't trivial, they're real, and it's hard to forgive. It's easy for these things to seem so large that they overpower us and fill us with bitterness, hate and revenge.
But Jesus shows us in this story that there is one thing that can shrink those wounds and injustices small enough for us to see them from a totally different perspective. The secret, He says, is to place them alongside the tremendous gift of grace, or forgiveness, that every one of us has received from God through Jesus Christ.
You and I are the debtor in this story. Every one of us has sinned and failed to live up to God's ideal for us, and in a very real sense that puts us in debt. We owe something that we cannot pay. Jesus' story shows us that God is willing to forgive us completely. He doesn't say, "We will work out an installment plan or lower the debt." No, He says, "I forgive you totally. The debt is canceled."
Our debt of sin is far too great for us ever to atone for it. But on the cross Christ carried it for us. There's no way to measure what He has forgiven us. It's hard to get terribly excited about what someone owes us when we realize that God has forgiven us. This doesn't mean we will ignore wrongs and injustices, but we will be more understanding of fellow sinners.
In spite of the terrible pain of being wronged, we can reach down into a bruised and broken heart and find the capacity to forgive. Why? Because God has forgiven us so much we are able to forgive from the heart. This is the priceless secret that makes forgiveness possible.